Wednesday, January 9, 2013

Not Just Princeton Women

I am having an internal struggle.

It's about leaving this everyday.

There is the side of me that enjoys the get up, take a shower (that should be everyday right?), put on make up, don the "nice" work clothes and get out into the real world. Where I can excel and make a contribution to a career and my family's income. All while using, at least acknowledging, the degree (and Masters degree I almost have) by working hard in the office everyday

Then there is the other, the side that loves to cuddle, nurse, and teach my daughter how to be a little person. Enjoying each minute thing she does and coo she makes. I would love to watch her grow everyday and learn how to find her hands, and sit on her own. All while having the knowledge that I am shaping her (and her schedule, which I have a hard time giving up control) into a "fierce" woman, like her mommy.

Margaret Fortney wrote an article for The Daily Princtonian  called "What Princeton Women Want" that does a great job of highlighting the emotions felt by mothers today. She sites that although many women come out of Princeton (and other great schools) with the education to be lawyers, doctors, or Wall Street tycoons. The occupation of being a mother is just as, or more, important.

The pressure that mothers get to go back to work, "Do it all" and go through the (personally) heartbreaking task of putting you children in childcare, to go into the office and "Use your education"; where I would prefer to "use my education" to teach my children and contribute to their lives with the education I have gathered, both from school and from life.

Charlie and I have been talking about the possibility of me staying home with Mary Margaret, and the coming children (not currently baking, but you know). And taking with Charlie's grandfather CB about his Grandmothers' work/life balance included her staying home while the kids were small, even though CB was getting his Masters and PhD at the time. People make it all the time. Charlie's fellow grad and PhD students have kids and wives who stay at home. It does require a more "Quiet" living, less meals out, not too many new clothes, and lots of creativity. But it's do-able.

And I like a challenge :)

Sorry this is such a, blah, serious post... but it was something I saw this morning and thought I'd share.

So read the article already.



  1. I struggle with working full time outside of the home every day! I was able to stay at home with my first 2 children, but we went through the little savings we had and I had to work part-time with babies 3 and 4, and then once that wasn't making ends meet anymore and the 4th child was in preschool full-time, I started working full time. I didn't feel badly about it because all my kids were in school anyway. But then baby #5 came along and suddenly I was having to let him be "raised" by a nanny (that we all adore) while I go work to keep our bills paid. There is no going back for us because my husband is a teacher at a Catholic school and makes in the $40,000 range and we are a family of seven. But boy do I wish I could stay home! And I love my job, so it's not even that bad!!

  2. Hang in there.... I totally understand the feeling. I am also a WOHM. Full time resident which makes it even working 2 full time jobs plus my role as a mom. I never believed those other working moms when I first went back to work with Baby #1 -- it will get better they said. YEAH RIGHT I THOUGHT!

    but it did get better..... and I did it again with baby 2....

    I cannot wait to be done with residency and work part time. I wanna be involved with my kids' lives in school and in the community. 1 year and counting.......