Thursday, November 8, 2012

Shout out from the cave

Yo All,

I'm shouting out from our cave with my little cub and the beast.

We both thought long and hard about this post

Here are a few things I've learned in the last two weeks...

Note* Most of these things may be an old hat you parents with older kids. Let me vent

1) Breast Feeding is really hard and painful
TMI: I have an infected nipple which means I put ointment on it after every use. I also have to pump that side and feed from a bottle while using the other side like normal. This is very frustrating and time consuming. I was also given supple cups... They are silicone cups to make your nips longer and less troublesome when latching. 

Ohh also, your boobs are going to leak non-stop for weeks. So prepare for that, it's a pain the in ass

2) Your baby stops looking cute all the time
When it's 2 am and your sweet pup is WIDE AWAKE and she's screaming. You're thinking, there is no way she's still hungry, and she has a clean diaper. I don't know what else to do!! Then you cry for 5 minutes and get over it and try to feed her. Then she goes to sleep like it was nothing. 

3) 3 am, you might try to burp your baby in the face
About a week ago, I was sitting in bed after many a long feeding. And started trying to burp sweet girl by patting her in the face, once I realized what I was doing I stopped, but for a second there she was getting sweet little pats to the face.

4) Swaddles are a pain 
No one mentioned that your baby will start fighting their swaddle at like 1.5 weeks. And it was a shock, I thought... well maybe she doesn't like it anymore or maybe we should stop doing it. Ohh and we're down to using the "SwaddleMe" because she can't break out of it, she looks like she's trying to pull a magic trick or something. We were given these amazingly soft bamboo swaddles that I may and probably will use as a scarf because they feel so good. We can't figure out how to use them as a swaddle. So she has really fancy blankets now for the Lamb Swing.

5) Pooping gets "real"
I wish I was talking about baby poops, I'm talking about big people ones. Ladies, if you're about to have a baby, purchase some Ducolax... Because you're going to have hemorrhoids and they are going to be painful and every time you poop it going to be an accomplishment. That is all on that subject

6) I can't tell what smells
Sometimes I think I smell, sometimes I think the house smells, sometimes I have to ask people if something smells and to tell me because I haven't been out of the house for about 3 days and I can't tell.

7) Your baby will start looking like creepy characters
While nursing for the millionth time this hour, I looked upon little Mary Margaret's "flowing" hair and for some reason this person came to mind:

Imagine a sweet baby face with that hair

 She had long hair in the back and very little on top Ok... it's more like a mullet, luckily her eyes don't look like that, mine might..

8) Crying all the time
So I hit on this a little last post, but it happened again and then again... I've cried almost once a day... Other than crying out of frustration and lack of sleep... I started crying when I fed Mary Margaret her first bottle (I'm only bottle feeding her because I'm pumping on the right side... see #1)... it was a step that she wasn't going to need me to feed her forever. That was exciting and sad all at the same time, my little girl is growing up and imagine how much of a mess I'll be when she starts walking and what-not.

OK Ellen is about to come on, so you know where I'll be.


  1. I can attest to #'s 1-8. Its like you're reading my mind and putting it into writing. Also, I'm writing this while Ellen is on commercial :)

  2. Sympathies! Know that this phase really doesn't last very long. And regarding swaddling, be sure to check out "The Happiest Baby on the Block." I can NOT reccomend it highly enough. I found it helpful, but I know of two families who felt like they were drowning until I sent the DVD their way. (I have the book and the DVD. I think the DVD is better. And get past the mildly kooky theories espoused by the book/DVD -- the advice is solid.)

  3. Just found your blog through Grace. I have an 8 week old and everything you said just helped me OFF that ledge. Oh dear Lord is this brutal. WOnderful, yada yada, yes. But brutal. A (nother) sweet old lady told me yesterday that I'll miss this time. My southern, always respect your elders self, definitely said "my daughter is 2. I don't really miss her newborn days. at all." Sleep deprived mom of a newborn trumps well intentioned old lady.

  4. I always err on the side of "crying baby needs boob" route. Good luck finding your groove!

  5. I agree with Julie The Happiest Baby on the Block is a great program. You can even find free YouTube videos of some of the ideas.