Cry Baby, A new mommy's tale

I would have done a "What I Wore Sunday" but we were ALL really tired and slightly "dehydrated" from last night's festivities... Go Ahead and use those Judgey Eyes... see if I care...

Here is something for you to enjoy

I think I missed a few step in the "normal" range of emotions having this sweet babe.

Honestly, I didn't cry when we first met in the hospital (I did later that day, upon reflection) and of course I've cried many many many times after. Mostly from new mommy frustration. But that immediate "I love you more than I've loved anything else in the whole wide world" thing didn't really happen, Sorry MM.

I've cried over the thought of going back to work, I cried when I gave her the first bottle. But something happened that I didn't expect...

I cried last night when she finally started taking her pacifier. I know, completely lame, weirdo response to something completely normal for ALL other moms. She had only taken out pinky finger and would have a tough time taking a bottle, so when she started taking both easily... I had a reeeeal tough time with it.

The myriad of emotions recently has included: Happy, Sad,  Excited, Anxiety, Gleeful, Anxious, Weepy  Exhausted, Tipsy :), Festive, and finally Caffeinated. 

Charlie pegged the paci breakdown... I felt like I was being replaced by this pink little silicone piece. 

And he was completely right, I didn't know how to put my feelings into words, but he had figured us out. Her relying on me 100% every second of the day may seem WAY overwhelming and (honestly) annoying but I love love love love love it. Being able to soothe someone, and be their end-all be-all for someone is something that I've never really been, and it has given me so much purpose. 

We went to a (few) Christmas parties last night and among the many discussions about babies, pregnancy, and new mommy-hood and someone asked if I would have done the pacifier - bottle thing if I weren't going back to work. And I don't think I would have. I only use the paci when she's going to sleep (where I previously just used the pinky) and I wouldn't mind nursing her all the time, it's way easier than pumping (ouch) and using the bottle (mess and can expire).

I'm happy rocking her to sleep every night. At this moment I feel like I could do it every night for years (I may be drinking the "baby koolaid" right now).  And I know that means I wouldn't be out of her reach for more than 2.5 hours at a time, but for some reason that doesn't seem so bad...

I say all this, to say the second we think Charlie is making enough for us to continue to live our meager lifestyle, I would become a Stay At Home Mom with the QUICKNESS!! 

OK, now back to watching Friday Night Lights, we're on Season 4 and I have 1.5 seasons to finish before I am forced out of the baby dream I'm living in.

Happy Christmas Eve Eve!!

Love, You're Favorite Heathen

7 Quick Onsies

1. Charlie, Mary Margaret, Buckley and I made our way down to the beach for a few days. Mary Margaret was wonderful, of course, and Buckley was his normal sweet but somewhat needy self.

2. Mary Margaret got a A- on the drive down to the beach and a solid B+ on the ride home. There were a few instances where Charlie and I had to blare the My Morning Jacket and Florence and the Machine while singing as loud as possible to drown her out. She submitted to our beautiful voices. 1 Point parents.

3. The day has come.  Either I'm starting to nurse in my sleep or Mary Margaret has started sleeping though the night!! She did it for first time on Sunday night, then woke up 2 times a night at the beach, and the last night she did it AGAIN! I know she will go through phases where she'll wake up a few times a night. But this is fantastic!

4. The big news that I couldn't talk about, I can now talk about!! Charlie got a part-time teaching gig with Saint Thomas More Academy. The goal when he finished studying at Duke was for him to teach at a Classical Catholic high school. We have been preparing ourselves for the possibility of moving for him to get a position like this. But it looks like our prayers have been answered with this. This part-time position will fit into his Duke schedule and, if everything goes well, will lead to a full time position in fall 2013. He will be teaching medieval history (which he doesn't have much experience with)  and would be teaching that along with theology in the fall.  Merry Christmas to us!

5. We enjoyed spending time with our little family unit at the beach. But. We really enjoyed watching the Cable TV. We spent hours watching trash such as Amish Mafia, Say Yes To The Dress "Big Bliss", and numerous cooking shows. Our favorite among the crowd was Good Eats. We both have a serious crush on Alton Brown. SO much so that we're going to follow his eating plan that does the following:

He eats daily: fruits, whole grains, leafy greens, nuts, carrots, and green tea

He eats 3x a week: oily fish, yogurt, broccoli, sweet potato, and avocado

He eats 1x a week: red meat, pasta, dessert, and alcohol

He Avoids: fast food, soda (except for club soda, which is okay), processed meals (such as TV dinners), canned soups (salt), and anything labeled "diet," because "this was not a diet

** Note, I'm having a hard time with the booze part, I can't stop...well, you know what I mean**

6. Along with all of the TV we watched at the beach, we have resumed our LOVE with Friday Night Lights. I'm kicking myself for not watching this fantastic show when it was coming on in "real time" we are ADDICTED. So much so, that I was thinking about what was going on in the show while we were at the beach. Lame, I know. But we're obsessed. 

7. Our house is a WRECK. We have made slight attempts at cleaning, but really can not get the motivation to do anything. I really have no excuse.

On a better note I did go to my 3rd spin class post partum, my tush still hurts because I've been out so long, but I'm excited to be getting back into it!!

Ok, go to Grace for more and better.

Busy Busy Baby

Since I'm not overly fond of my not-shrinking-as-quickly-as-I'd-like physique. I'll show you what Mary Margaret wore for Mass today.

She is seriously presh.

We had some family pictures taken this weekend by the ever talented Meredith Geldmeier. She knows how to work my camera 20x better than I do, so I invite her over to take pictures with it. I hope she never finds out how much I'm using her :)

Here are a few..

I'm lovin MM's face in this one.

Mary Margaret the diva was a pill to work with. 

She was constantly crying... there were OH SO many like this:

Apparently, when MM cries, Charlie shuts his eyes. Hmm, coincidence?

I will mention that the dress she's wearing is WAY too big, it's sized for a 6 month old, but it's so cute, and will  not be seasonly appropriate so I just went with it. I mean who could turn down corduroy baby bloomers?? Someone with a heart of stone maybe... Plus we didn't want it to be OVERLY holiday incase we want to use them for non holiday purposes.

ALSO, I didn't take a shower the morning these were taken and slapped on a few particles of make up (mostly concealer, for obvious reasons) and they still turned out not horrible. 

So, one point for fake it till you make it.

Mary Margaret also went to her first adult Christmas party, where she was the belle of the ball, Natch (naturally...) The party that we went to has been hosted by the same couple for 35 years. That is awesome, and Charlie's parent's have been there for every since year so far. How impressive on both sides?? This was my third party I think, but there will of course be many more to come with that crowd.

We should be at the beach right now, but there have been some exciting developments in the McCants house which made us postpone the departure until Monday. I'll possibly be talking more about it in the coming days, or I won't... and so you'll know something didn't happen. 

Make sense? probably not.

When we do leave for the beach it will be the longest car trip for Mary Margaret so far, hopefully we can avoid completely knocking her our with OTC meds and she'll just sleep like the sweet normal babe we love. Not the cranky screaming one we HATE (just kidding)

OK people. It thunder stormed in Raleigh late last night, more like early morn. That means 10 days until snow, right? That also means a white Christmas. Cross your fingers and baby toes!!

Who am I kidding, I'll be walking around in Rainbows like normal Christmases in NC. 

Boo

7 Quick Takes Friday

1. As a new parent , and human being, I have to comment about the horrible things that have happened today in Connecticut. I was blissfully unaware of this until this afternoon as I was chatting with another new mommy and baby. I didn't do much more article searching until I got home and put my sweet girl to bed. It is unfair and whatever your opinion on gun control, I think everyone can agree this and the similar events that have happened recently are awful and saddening.

2. Mary Margaret and I had a "ladies lunch out" with our sweet Irish friends Kate and Isabelle Molloy. I met Kate (mommy) in my midwive Centering group and we have been hanging out while I've been on maternity leave. We had lunch and a beer at the Busy Bee Cafe. Luckily for Kate and Isabelle they missed Mary Margaret completely losing her sh*t while I was changing her on the hard bathroom floor when she had a front-blowout and needed a complete outfit change. The mix of the hard cement floor and florescent lights (along with being naked) made her freak and I'm sure the whole restaurant thought I was giving her a booster shot or something.

3. Kate and I nursed in the window of a cafe today with all of the passer-byers just staring at us. Score one for the nursing in public crowd!! All of the men in their fancy suits and overcoats and homeless people were just staring me in the eye (up here sir...) and I would just give them a SMILE!! We also did diaper changes in the window too, nothing but modest here in Raleigh.

4. Charlie is off playing poker tonight with his buddies, leaving me with all of the bathing and diaper changing. I know ALL of you other ladies out there do this every night, but I'm lucky enough to have a very hands on daddy that likes to at least talk to me while I'm doing the bathing and diaper changing (for reals: Charlie does change diapers and bathe when I'm not here). Buckley was not enjoying it because 1. We were late with his dinner and 2. There was no one to play with him because I was caring for Mary Margaret. He does love to cuddle when she goes to bed, I think someone misses being an only child.

5. I finally completed my Masters course for this semester. The very sweet professor told me I could take an incomplete for the semester and finish later. But the course wasn't THAT time consuming and I was able to finish on time and with a passing grade (B). It may have been a mercy B (since it was a Child and Maternal Health Class) but a B is a B is a B, to me. Ha Rhyming.

6. I need to get some more nursing bras. Anyone have some suggestions? The one I have been wearing so far is ill fitting and was $5 on the Target Super Big Clearance rack like 6 months ago. And if I'm going back to work. UGH I need to have more than 1 I think, because Lord knows I leak all OVER them, even with those B.S. reusable nursing pads.

7. As I started writing this #7, sweet Buckley put his head on my arm. I really want to go to sleep, but I also don't wanna move his arm because he had a rough night without us. Oh... puppy parent guilt.

Also, this Mary Margaret sleeping more thing is killing the milk jugs... and I don't wanna pump before bed because she'll undoubtedly wake up at 11 pm instead of 2 or 3am and want milk that I just won't have...ugh

OK done. Go wake your babies up and give them a hug, you'll feel better.

Jen has a whole Bunch more of this...

As does Very Preg Grace

Weekend

My sweet sweet mother  came to visit me stopped by to see Mary Margaret on Saturday morning and stayed until Sunday morn. It was a whirlwind of baby holding/loving/hugging and shopping. Ohh and driving through numerous parking decks looking for a spot at the mall. Ugh.

HELLO Belk One Day sale. It was great! We got some super deals. Sorry you missed it.

Both nights of the weekend (is Friday night considered the weekend?) there was an issue with Mary Margaret's sleeping. One was self-administered when I tried to following the Sleep Consultant's suggestion of putting her to bed "Awake and Aware" which consisted of me going up there 5 times because she was screaming bloody murder. I then gave in and soothed and rocked her to sleep. Bam. She Wins

Then on Saturday night she went to bed really easy with my soothehertosleepdon'tmakeasound technique. Then at her 1:30 am and 5:30 am feedings she was struggling and tugging and crying while nursing. It was very confusing and frustrating. I can't figure out why she does it and I hope (pray?) that is is just a phase she'll grow out of. I also have my thoughts it has to do with my let-down which I'm not sure how I change that. I may ask my BFF and baby/parenting go-to Nancy for some advice.

One reason I was having a tough night is because I was laboring over the though of having to go back to work. It's like 4 weeks away, but the thought makes my eyes fill with tears. Thursday, January 3rd is going to be my first day back, and the thought kills me. I really want to stay home with her. The thought of her doing more cute firsts with someone else makes me incredibly jealous, and they haven't even happened yet. Also, the thought of giving up exclusively breast-feeding her, and having someone else be her source of nutrient (understanding, of course that I will be pumping for her).  I selfishly want to have control over her eating, changing, and what she's wearing; (was that the right punctuation there?) trusting someone else to know how to do it for a whole day while I'm in another city for 8-10 hours is terrifying. OK, I may need a second here to collect myself.

Ok back.
We are going to the Christmas "New or Soon-to-be Parent" meet up for the Sacred Heart Cathedral Young Adults Group (confusing enough). I had grand ideas to make this crab dip that I found at 5am while nursing one night... I think we know how well this turned out... I sent Charlie to the store to get the essentials for it. Made in Sunday morning, I will admit there may have been a shake too many of Cheyenne pepper, it was like a creamy-spicy non-crab tasting mess. Charlie was sweet to try and make it seem redeemable, but it was kinda just spicy blah that if you only looked at it, looked like peppermint gross (got the visual?). So I went with plan B, which mom had suggested, a pre-made spinach dip that was made with Greek yogurt (yay!) from Costco put into my own bowl. Yes, I like to cheat like that.

This is how excited Buckley is over the dip

7 Quick Takes Friday

I thought I would be like these other cool people and start doing the 7 Quick Takes Friday

1. Mary Margaret and I are trying to work our way through Friday Night Lights mostly because it's an awesome show and she has a new love for the TV. I'm sure this is something we're going to have to work though in the coming years. I'm telling myself it's just the colors and not the trash that I sometimes watch.

2. The three of us, Mary Margaret, Buckley and I went for our first "those who stay at home" walk on the Greenway. It went surprisingly well, and Mary Margaret only cried for a few minutes total. She mostly liked to look around and be cute.

Exhibit A

3. We have been having Mary Margaret say her "I Love You" to us all week. I'm going to concentrate on "Mommy" next week. It is amazing how she gets a big smile on our face when we start "talking". 

4. I have repeatably been finding spit up under Mary Margaret's endlessly developing neck rolls. They are cute, but if I don't think about it, they may become a science project under her nose.

aforementioned neck, can you imagine how soft these are?

5. MM and I spent the majority of Thursday in Durham, I passed my 6 week midwife appointment (giving me the go-ahead to go back to spin class, YAY!!), we went to visit daddy at school where we celebrated St. Nicholas' Day having prosecco and cheese with in Paul Griffiths' office. We then went to the sweet Clem house to see if the little Clem girls would be willing to treat Mary Margaret as their baby doll twice a week next semester. I think we have a winner!! 

6. Tuesday I had the daunting task of hosting the New Mom's group of Sacred Heart Cathedral over to our house. I also didn't think ahead enough and had no doggy care for Mr. Buckley. Mary Margaret received a B+ for her behavior and a C+ for her eating (refusing both the bottle and the boob, great) but once I started wearing her around she was great and fell asleep on me. It was a great time and the babies all did a great job. 

7. Charlie is on the FINAL stretch of his second to last semester in school. He has been working incredibly hard, and has been struggling with not being around as much as he (or I) would like. But come Monday evening (?) he should be done and we can have him all to ourselves (except for Thesis writing) until the beginning of January. 

Extra: One perk to being at home on Maternity leave, other than the obvious... was to watch Ellen everyday. I was horrified to turn on our semi-free cable to see that NBC has NO audio! I can only lip read to what Ellen is giving away at the 12 days of giveaways and how wonderful Mrs. Timberlake's wedding was! GRR!

"Buddy the Elf, What's your favorite color?"

I guess I should get on the band wagon of 7 Quick Takes like of these ladies which I follow...

Maybe I'll try for this coming Friday

Anyway, I've been meaning to post this really funny Youtube clip. I'll say I'm not usually one for dog shamming, but this is hilarious. Charlie showed me this clip one midnight nursing session. He was obviously getting a lot of work done for school during those late hours.

Another fabulous video is this one of Mary Margaret clearly saying "I love you" she will obviously take after her father's love for language.

In other news Charlie is SO close to being done with his final paper for this semester. Because he's been working so hard on it (and the 2 previous papers) he has gotten out of the numerous night time feedings and shifts, although he will sometimes has the best intentions of taking one for the team and the MM gives him a break and only wakes up once.

This is a very random clip and the girl's name is also Mary Margaret

I'm completely sure that everyone other that Charlie and I HATE this Christmas song, but we really like it.  SO There.

Ok, it took be seriously 4 days to get this post out... I've been really lazy about it.

Something amazing happened

27 years ago yesterday.

My mom was in the final stages of her labor with me. At 11:something pm on November 30, 1985 I was brought into the world. YAY!

Dinner and Drinks sans Baby and Diaper Bag? Yes.

My dad says to this day, that I started smiling right away (ha, that rhymed) and I have gotten compliments on my smile ever since (not to brag).

Since becoming a mom to this exceptional little person a little more than a month ago, I can now understand how a birthday of your child can be exciting and motivational for the parents. I can't wait to celebrate that I have kept this child alive for a whole year. That is an amazing accomplishment and I hope all parents celebrate what they have done!!

To think that almost 30 years ago (what!?!) she was in the hospital, after 3 days of labor.... ugh, pushing me out into the world. Good work Mom (and dad)!! And you kept me fed, and clothed, and safe for this long (they're still doing it, don't let me fool you). I think that although birthdays are about the person who was born, it should also be a little Parent's Day too (a little gift might be nice, jk) because they have put in the hard work for that year!

For my birthday this year, Callie (Aunt Callie, so as you're not confused) took me on a surprise lady date  in Durham the day before which included: Sushi and Martinis, a Storyslam provided by The Monti, then to Fullsteam to drink and watch people play trivia. We only had one run in with an awkward former potential dating partner for Callie (got all that?).

On my actual birthday, sweet Charlie took me on a dinner date that included Christmas Tree shopping. This is a new family tradition, the tree picking on my birthday. It really makes me extra excited for my birthday, mostly because it means the beginning of THE holiday season. That means treats, holiday party, Mariah Carey Christmas Songs, white chocolate & peppermint snacks, and of course a valid excuse to watch ELF.

A tip for moms with Newborns to 3 year olds!!

I have been scouring the intranets to learn as much as I can from Isis Parenting they have webinars that you can watch, and re-watch if needed (I watched the newborn-5 month sleeping one twice so far), but have also watched the baby-wearing, breast feeding positions, and am working on the pumping for work webinar right now. The moderator, Nancy Holtzman is insanely knowledgeable, and if you follow her on twitter (do you twitter?) @nancyholtzman you can ask her questions and she will answer them super quickly via twitter. You can also see other people's questions incase you didn't think about that question. I've already asked her a few questions with great and fast responses.

OK that is my un-paid plug for Isis and my new bff Nancy

Happy Tree Trimming to Me!!

What I Wore Sunday, among other things

And other fragments of the weekend...

 This is to be used for the What I Wore Sunday

I keep forgetting to get the whole body shot...

Dress: Old Jcrew

Necklace: Some store I can't remember in Greensboro, NC

Shoes: Same Paisley Flats from Old Navy

Saturday morning we (I) invited ourselves to the wonderful Offner's for breakfast, they kindly obliged and proceeded to feed and clothe us (Mary Margaret really) while we caught up on the last month + of our new lives...

Sweet Sofia said "Baby" approximately 5000 times

We then made our rounds with the aunts...

Aunt Allison was only making Thanksgiving dinner for... oh, 14 people and dropped everything to hold sweet MM

I didn't get a picture with Aunt Callie, but when we were there we (I) ate popcorn, Almonds, and Thanksgiving leftovers... She was so sweet to feed me (see a pattern here? I do buy/make food myself, promise) and we watched old episodes of Parenthood (amazing show!)

After a long night of 2 hour sleep sesh(s)... compliments of sweet 3M we were up before the sun and I was doing this for about an hour until she finally feel asleep...

Bounce wit me

We sat here and watch 3 episodes of this seasons Glee, she was of course inthralled by the love triangle with Finn, Rachel, and that new super hot guy she's in school with. I'm loving that they have been using some non-current pop songs in the episodes (first time around No Doubt! Awesome!)

How granola is all this baby-wearing i've been doing? I hope she's super attached to me for her whole life. I plan on breast feeding for up to 3 years and pre-chewing her food and feed it like a baby bird just like Alicia Silverstone (yea.. "search engine" that non-sense).

We went to a good friends house for a early Holiday season party. Where Mary Margaret got to meet the Jolly Man for the first time. She was crying the whole time and he was an amazing Santa (apparently the Governor uses him... how fancy) and he made Charlie and I BOTH sit on his lap while we were taking the picture.

We tried to believe it wasn't strange having two grown people sitting on Santa's lap... SC said that when she looks back at the pictures, she won't recognize herself, but will recognize us... makes sense I guess.

If you look VERY closely you'll see that 1/3 of us had an outfit change... someone had an EXPLOSIVE diaper on her super cute Christmas outfit.

Ho Ho Ho.

What I Wore Thanksgiving

So, to humor Mrs. Patton

I'm joining all the cool people at Fine Linen and Pearls with the "What I Wore Sunday" but this is a special addition for Thanksgiving.

I know that is was supposed to do a full length shot, but the one I took I didn't like.

Top: Lauren Conrad for Khols
Jeans: Old Navy Maternity
Paisley Flats (not that you can see them): Old Navy

We began our first Thanksgiving con Baby with a peaceful non-screaming 1.5 hour trip to High Point, NC.

When we got there Gran began her watch of holding her granddaughter for 18 of the 24 hours in the day. While she was baby-holding I got to type this blog post, and watch My Big Fat American Gypsy Wedding on TLC, I'm not proud to say that we (I coerced my family to watch it too) watched for 4 hours. I will mention that we don't have cable so we gotta have our guilty pleasure when we (I) can.

Gran and I popped out for traditional (?) Pre-Thanksgiving Chinese food between beers. While we left the boys with the little one. This was the first time that Charlie was left with Mary Margaret, it thank goodness it was a short trip.

Her Highness' sleeping habits were of course disrupted where I was up many hours of the evening because she wanted her Thanksgiving meal early (naturally)

Uncle Daniel was able to get some MM time in, he couldn't get over how cute and little she was. He's going to be amazed at how big she'll be next time he sees her.

She was a little angel of course during everyone else's Thanksgiving dinner, she only required my pinky finger directly in her mouth (not a paci fan) and rocking her for about 2 hours. Easy Peasy. Actually I only ate half of my Thanksgiving meal one handed, apparently it's a must learned skill my new parents (read: usually the moms).

Gran spent her Thanksgiving making everything for the whole meal, with little help from me, Grandpa George, or Uncle Daniel. Charlie was a bit of a help, because he made a really good Apple/Pear Kabob with some topping that was fantastic.

When we finally made it home on Friday afternoon sleeping was fantastic, MM slept in her crib with a receiving blanket swaddle (we have learned that swaddling her legs is the key, we think). And slept a great 4, 3, 3 hour sleep cycle. Before her and Charlie took a daddy-daughter bath. It was nice to try and get on a "schedule", I say that very loosely...

Here is her sleeping next to me as I'm typing this. She's out, and amazingly cute.

Great photography skills

Let me know if you'd like me to come and photography you're next big event...

It's inspiring how much I can not like her when she wakes up multiple times a night, fights her swaddle, wiggle and fights my boob when feeding... and then I fall in love with her all over again when morning comes.

I hope everyone is excited to hear this some multiple times in the next month!! I was excited in July

Our New Typical

Breaking news!  I found this on Pinterest!

This my friends is Wine Ice Cream there is 5% alcohol and is only found in Florida, DC and NY. It comes in something like 5 flavors and is a combo that equals to awesomeness.

In other news, this is now my Saturday looked:

• Woke up after 3 times night time feedings, once that included a sheet and outfit change (Charlie got that one, hehe)
• Sent Charlie out for Frozen Waffles, Cabbage, and Holiday Starbucks ( I got the Gingerbread Latte and Chuckles got the Eggnog Latte, they were both really yummy)
• Watch the Raleigh Christmas Parade while eating aforementioned waffles, 1/2 a banana and some peanut butter
• Continued to watch Christmas Parade while sitting in my mistletoe PJ pants and applying cabbage to my chesty area
• Went to Target - which didn't involve the meltdown that we expected
• Mary Margaret and I look a walk/run where we almost died, but didn't. I did feel like a real person again.
• Took a shower (was working on day 3 without a shower)
• Watched 3/4th of an episode of Friday Night Lights
• Watched 2 episodes of Parks and Rec season 2
• Fought with Mary Margaret to go to sleep for 4 hours

She loved the fall chill in the air

So far today (Sunday) we woke up really tired and went to Mass (our first!!) where she was of course "the" person to see at he end of Mass. We had leftovers for lunch and watched another (2) Parks and Rec episodes.

OK that's all we've done.  

We're going to High Point for Thanksgiving and it will be Mary Margaret's longest trip so far! Get excited and maybe bring some ear plugs.

Now I'm done.

Enjoy your Sunday Funday, or whatever.

Let the games begin

Yes, this is happening.

We are so blessed to have so many friends and family visiting, and coming with very full and tasty hands. It's a good thing I'm breast feeding, because I can eat as many helpings of the yummy foods and drink as I can take, right?

I'm going to get back on the wagon soon, I hope... We do have some frozen dishes that may keep me stuffed until the REAL Thanksgiving. So it may continue

In other, more important news... Mary Margaret only woke up ONCE last night!! It was amazing and may have involved a certain sound machine and lots of feeding earlier in the evening. The night before she slept 5 hours and then woke every 2 hours, but I was still thrilled!

Charlie and I woke up at 1:30 am and just stared at her trying to decide if she was breathing. Charlie had put her down in her crib and gone to sleep in the glider (notably uncomfortable) while I had gone to sleep at 9:00 pm in a huff because she was still cranky after lots of feeding. 

Anyway, not sure if that makes any sense, but she is still alive and only woke up at 2:45 am to nurse and then went back to sleep immediately until she slept until 7:30 am. It was fantastic and I'm sure will not happen again for the next 2 months.

She's slightly confused with the state of my angry nips

So onto my breast issues I'm STILL dealing with 

I had been told to get Mupirocin and use that for a while to see if it would heal the large crack and puss "looking" stuff on my nip.

Well that was a bust, so I went to the midwives and she prescribed me Newman's Nipple Cream. Which you can ONLY get at a compound pharmacy and costs almost as much as it cost to birth Mary Margaret. 

I was told to come back to the midwives if there was not a signifiant change by Friday, so still no improvement, I go in... the lack-luster OB that we saw (note: not a midwive) told us that the only thing he could do is prescribe Difucan in case it was yeast-y and to see what happens, because there is so little research on nipple problems.

I believe that there are SO few people that have few breast feeding/ nipple break down issues, that there should be research or something to tell people what to do when these problems happen.

It could just be that the OB was a crock.

Either way I'm just going to keep using the cream and praying, or I may try some hippy-dippy stuff and get some cabbage to put on the ole' utters.

So, we're about 3.5 weeks in and here are some recent highlights

• Sleeping for long chunks, which I'm sure will cease because I'm certain to jinx myself
• Nearly positive I saw my first -awake- smile. I may continue to cry when I think about it
• Really dislike the fact she has tears now, it makes her crying so much worse for me (always know who is really important)
• Breast Shields are hard to find (at least the local Walgreens and CVS do not carry them)
• My all time favorite daytime with her is right when we're both getting up for the day and the daylight is on her face before and after feeding, it's really when she is looking the most amazing.
• The milk jugs that are attached to me continue to spring random leaks and ruin most-all social situations

 Here is one of the fantastic pictures that my very good friend Meredith took of Her Highness when she was less than a week old. There are others that I'm saving for announcements and other events.

If I don't get around to it, happy gobble day. 

I'll obviously be wearing maternity pants to our event. Why not enjoy it while I can right? 

Although, I am looking forward to the day where I can wear pants with working belt loops again.

Ohh to dream.

Shout out from the cave

Yo All,

I'm shouting out from our cave with my little cub and the beast.

We both thought long and hard about this post

Here are a few things I've learned in the last two weeks...

Note* Most of these things may be an old hat you parents with older kids. Let me vent

1) Breast Feeding is really hard and painful

TMI: I have an infected nipple which means I put ointment on it after every use. I also have to pump that side and feed from a bottle while using the other side like normal. This is very frustrating and time consuming. I was also given supple cups... They are silicone cups to make your nips longer and less troublesome when latching. 

Ohh also, your boobs are going to leak non-stop for weeks. So prepare for that, it's a pain the in ass

2) Your baby stops looking cute all the time

When it's 2 am and your sweet pup is WIDE AWAKE and she's screaming. You're thinking, there is no way she's still hungry, and she has a clean diaper. I don't know what else to do!! Then you cry for 5 minutes and get over it and try to feed her. Then she goes to sleep like it was nothing. 

3) 3 am, you might try to burp your baby in the face

About a week ago, I was sitting in bed after many a long feeding. And started trying to burp sweet girl by patting her in the face, once I realized what I was doing I stopped, but for a second there she was getting sweet little pats to the face.

4) Swaddles are a pain 

No one mentioned that your baby will start fighting their swaddle at like 1.5 weeks. And it was a shock, I thought... well maybe she doesn't like it anymore or maybe we should stop doing it. Ohh and we're down to using the "SwaddleMe" because she can't break out of it, she looks like she's trying to pull a magic trick or something. We were given these amazingly soft bamboo swaddles that I may and probably will use as a scarf because they feel so good. We can't figure out how to use them as a swaddle. So she has really fancy blankets now for the Lamb Swing.

5) Pooping gets "real"

I wish I was talking about baby poops, I'm talking about big people ones. Ladies, if you're about to have a baby, purchase some Ducolax... Because you're going to have hemorrhoids and they are going to be painful and every time you poop it going to be an accomplishment. That is all on that subject

6) I can't tell what smells

Sometimes I think I smell, sometimes I think the house smells, sometimes I have to ask people if something smells and to tell me because I haven't been out of the house for about 3 days and I can't tell.

7) Your baby will start looking like creepy characters

While nursing for the millionth time this hour, I looked upon little Mary Margaret's "flowing" hair and for some reason this person came to mind:

Imagine a sweet baby face with that hair

 She had long hair in the back and very little on top Ok... it's more like a mullet, luckily her eyes don't look like that, mine might..

8) Crying all the time

So I hit on this a little last post, but it happened again and then again... I've cried almost once a day... Other than crying out of frustration and lack of sleep... I started crying when I fed Mary Margaret her first bottle (I'm only bottle feeding her because I'm pumping on the right side... see #1)... it was a step that she wasn't going to need me to feed her forever. That was exciting and sad all at the same time, my little girl is growing up and imagine how much of a mess I'll be when she starts walking and what-not.

OK Ellen is about to come on, so you know where I'll be.

The First Week

Thank you everyone for all of your kind words and prayers, we really appreciated it and Miss Mary Margaret is doing great!

She is one week old today, and it has obviously been a whirlwind for everyone involved, including my circadian rhythm

Here are her accomplishments for the last week
1) She was born
2) She is lifting her head up a little, so if you put her on her stomach she isn't going to suffocate immediately
3) She rolled over from stomach to back during her VERY FIRST (obviously puppy supervised) tummy time

More than anything she's just sucking on her arm, which some may believe means she's hungry

4) She helped me watch two whole episodes of Revenge and one episode of Modern Family
5) She slept 3.5 hours (7:30 pm  - 11:00 pm)
6) Met her big brother (see supervisor above)
7) WoWed the pediatrician and 2 lactation consultants with fantastic weight gain (like mother like daughter)
8) Learned to love her lamb swing
9) Went to vote

She doesn't seem excited about a career in politics

10) Modeled for her first photo shoot (photos to come)


Here are MY accomplishments for the last week
1) Birthed a whole person
2) Drank at least 5 alcoholic drinks
3) Visited the pediatrician twice
4) Only cried four times (and only once from frustration)

5) Left the house no more than 4 times, and once just the two of us!
6) Had a major headache on the whole first day I was alone with Mary Margaret
7) Have done little-to-no chores
8) Received many delicious meals from caring friends
9) Went to sleep at 7:30 pm and 7:30 am within the same 24 hours
10) Nursed a sweet little girl until my nipples almost fell off

So speaking to #4 (Crying of frustration), people always say that it gets better after 3 months.
3 Months is a REALLY long time from now, is it really going to be that long before she starts sleeping through the night and not having to nurse her at least 12 times a day? Because that is going to get old REAL quick. Plus I'm really not that good a burping yet, so there has been a large amount of spit up going on, but I'm trying

We have given her the name "Chicken Wing" recently because the Lactation Consultant told us that she will be done nursing when her arm resembles a limb chicken wing, which makes perfect sense.

Ok, it's about 7:30 meaning Mary Margaret and I are about to turn back into pumpkins.

Thanks again everyone!

Finally!! Birth Story Part 2

[Click here to read the first chapter of Mary Margaret's birth story]

Here is a picture of her this morning; she's so happy after feedings... it really makes getting little to less-than-no sleep at night more worth it.

6:00 am
We are moved to "the big room" (LDR 2) where they have a tub. It was the most amazing tub I have ever been in. Looking at it wouldn't do it justice, but it was a game changer. I waddled my way to the room as Katie was drawing me a fancy bath in the amaze-a-pool. I immediately disrobed with just the heart rate monitor hanging on me, and let me tell you something: if you're going to have a natural birth, find a tub, with jets. Now I don't have experience with non-back labor, but if those jets were not in there I would not have been able to do it. Since "lying down" wasn't an option through the entire ordeal, just having some hot water would not have cut the mustard.

6:01 am - 9:00am
We had determined the "secret" to dealing with the back pain in a mix between Charlie vigorously rubbing my lower back and sitting in the tub with jets. I went from tub to leaning over the back of the bed with Charlie rubbing my back for 3 hours. At this point we had called our doula Kandace and she said she was on her way to help the cause.

** I should mention Charlie should be knighted for his effort the entire time. I was apparently a COMPLETELY different person; I was even bossy, so that even when Charlie was trying to be sweet and sing to me ("Fly Me to the Moon," by Frank Sinatra), I told him to shut it and just rub my back... again.**

9:00 am
Charlie went to find Jualeah because I wanted to be checked to see if I'd dilated. Last time i'd been checked I was 3-cm, so I thought... maybe 5 if I was lucky. She reported I was a whole 7-cm and that she didn't think it would be much longer, (which in retrospect, she should have told me if I was 4-cm...) but it was the push I needed to keep going. I did ask her in very cryptic language something to the effect of "at what point could I get the thing I'm not supposed to talk about?" (Read: Epidural) She told me I could get it at any point before pushing. In my mind that meant I had time to think about it. So I held off.

Right after Jualeah left, I told Charlie I thought I was going to throw up, but before he could find anything to catch it, I threw up ALL over the left side of the room. And what was the only thing I had had in my stomach? Red Jello. Perfect. We just left it there too, since there were more important things going on. (Jualeah later told me, as she was cleaning the mess up, that it was part of transition. Makes sense)

10:15 am
Our doula Kandace showed up JUST in the nick of time. Charlie was spent, his poor hands and wrists had been working over time. And she had all sorts of tricks and tools to help: a warming thing that Charlie stuck in the microwave which she laid on my back and her real value, her training in massage therapy, etc. So she worked on my back for about 30 mins before I told her I needed to use the bathroom. Apparently I didn't need to but sitting on the toilet with her weaving herself around the wall to be able to still work on my back. She had me moan LOUD and deep through the next 4 or 5 contractions that all came right after another.

11:00 am
Jualeah came back in and checked me out, informing me that I hadn't broken my water yet, and that my cervix was "paper thin"... which really meant nothing to me (I only speak in dilated and centimeters terms). She asks me if I'd like her to break my water which I, of course, say I do. Once that is done there is a some water but not a flood like you'd think, BUT it was dark and tinged. That means sweet little angel has taken her first poop on the inside of me. Thrilling. All this really means is that she has to be checked by the peds group before I can hold her. I wanted to have her on my chest first thing, but whatever... that was not going to be an issue right now (and looking back it would have been REALLY gross).

I'm going to be honest here and say that the "urge to push" wasn't as obvious as I would have liked. It might have been because of the never-faltering back pain, but I was really just thinking, I want this crap to end, so I'm going to start pushing, OK?

I pushed for what seemed like 15-20 minutes, but apparent was more like 45. Here comes some truth. I was grunting and what-not for the last hour, but when she came out of my lady parts, it was more than a "ring of fire" that some women talk about. It was excruciating! I made sounds that I know I've never made before and probably won't make again until spawn #2 comes around. But... that part was so minute compared to the whole thing, that it shouldn't scare... although leading up to labor I was terrified of it.

11:45 am (on the dot)
Mary Margaret McCants made her grand entrance!!! And almost as important, the pain is GONE! All of it. Charlie will attest that like a Disney movie, I turned from the monster that was yelling and screaming back into his sweet wife in a instant. It was such a relief in every sense of the word, and all I could think, other than thank God the pain in gone... was "Shit... I did it, with no drugs! No way! That was insane!"

After Charlie cut the chord and stumbled around light-headed for a few seconds he went to see her with the peds people while I was being (as he said) "patched up." To put it frankly, I had a second degree tear, which isn't that bad, but did need some "patching" so Jualeah came in with her surgical light and fish-hook looking thing (And lidocaine... I didn't wanna feel the needle, as I was DONE with self inflicted pain-feeling for the  day) and cleaned everything up down there. Apparently I wasn't as mauled as it seemed.

Less than 5 minutes later I was holding my sweet girl (this is the REAL post-labor picture... not the one with my hair blow-dried and what-not)

That hair is something to be admired and yes, I'm still naked

Finally! Birth Story Part 1

She is finally here!!

Gran holding sweet Mary Margaret

I can't believe that we did it. I say WE because it was a huge team effort.

This is how I looked after a shower and blow drying my hair. Not directly after giving birth

Ok, so this is going to be the birth story and I'm not going to hold anything back. I'm going to tell you all about the mistakes and successes through the whole thing. If you think that may be TMI for you... I would stop reading now. Otherwise, enjoy :)

Let us begin.

We had planned to pry her out on Thursday October 25th (that's right... today). But I then had a Non-Stress Test (NST) on Monday morning and we made the game-time decision to have my membranes swept (look it up if you really wanna know what that is, lets just say it can start labor). Then if that wasn't enough straying from the plan, we pushed the original induction up to Monday night. We had spoken to one of our midwives, Jualeah, told us that she prefers to use a drug called Cytotec... look that one up too. There are some potential issues that we understood, but trusted our midwife team on their decision and went ahead with it. Mistake #1

We called into work and school and instead went home after the appointment. I used the breast pump for about two hours total to emcourage contractions, went to a great lunch at the Flying Biscuit, and picked up some last minute items from Babies-R-Us. We then went home, collected Buckley (the beast) and took him to his grandparent's house where he remains until this weekend possibly. And we had a final meal at Jersey Mikes in Durham before heading to the hospital.

Not what you normal see when people are headed to the have a baby...

7:00pm
We arrived at Durham Regional and although they didn't have a real room ready for us, they put us in a nice-looking coat closet where we got checked in and spoke to Leigh Ann, our midwife on the floor at the time, about my options and to confirm everything that was going to happen.

9:00pm
We decided to proceed with the Cytotec plan and got everything going before we tried to sleep for a while.  Watch some cable since we don't have it at home (How exciting, I know)... and let things take their course.

1:00am
Leigh Ann checked my lady parts and said that there wasn't a ton of progress, maybe 3-cm dilation. So she was going to put in another piece of Cytotec (it was a pill cut into 4 pieces) and some more Ambien for sleeping.

1:30 am
Charlie and I were checked by the nurse Katie and I was shivering, MM's heart-rate is really low (like in the 80 bpm, as opposed to 130-140s) and the contractions are coming way quick. Leigh Ann and Katie rush around getting the oxygen mask on me, take the Cytotec out of my lady parts, hook me up to an IV to flush the Cytotec out of my system, and gave me a shot to slow the contractions down. In passing Leigh Ann mentions the possibility of having to have a c-section, which of course I would have done, if necessary... but I had still planned on having a natural childbirth.

3:00 am
I was feeling "better" and labor had started, but also had back pain. Note: I'm going to have back labor the entire labor. It was excursiating and horrible. This was when real labor began...

Here is a preview of the next post

Welcome to the photogenic McCants family Mary Margaret

Here is Part 2

41 Weeks

Happy Monday...
(I hope you read that with as much sarcasm as was intended)

Yes... I am still carrying a (hopefully still) small child in my abdomen.

Why... Is this post called 41 weeks?
Because that is the new predicted date that she will be born. This Friday... not last Thursday or Friday like originally suggested.

But???? Ohh, please contact my irritable uterus (thirty uterus) and/or posterior facing cervix for with any questions.
TMI? Maybe... Do I care? Certainly not.

Well Laura... What is the plan now??

Tomorrow I have a Not Stress Test... This is where they hook you up to a machine and little to the beeps and boops of her little heart to make sure she's still rockin and rollin in there ok. Doesn't hurt... I think it takes like an hour or something. I'll need to make sure to bring a book or something because all of the magazines in the office are lame.

Friday (please pray to whoever you believe in that I don't make it to that) I have another ultrasound... again... to make sure my baby fluids are still high.

THEN... and here comes the best part.... We wait some more.

THIS GETS EVEN BETTER, as icing on the frustrating cake... I have FINALLY gotten stretch marks (Hurray....) My ever-cooperating body thought it would add insult to injury and grant me some beautiful stretchmarks right...after...my due date. Thanks.

This weekend was actually not the worst thing ever.

I did only 1 of the 3 things I was planning on...

Friday after an emotional breakdown at work, a visit to the Midwives - where the temp in the office was only a scoach up from Hades (I stripped almost completely naked for a quick lady parts exam). I had 2, plus a little more (please, feel free to use your judgey eyes... I could care less) of wine while Charlie made me a Salmon dinner with asparagus. Then, Marina and I went to Target so she could get snackies for the Cumbies and the nurses at UNC Children's Hospital... we also got Cook Out... I made the very strong choice of getting a reese's milkshake in place of the Peanut Butter Fudge (three cheers for self-control).

Saturday, My Saint of a Mother came made the 1.75 hours trip each way to visit and keep me company on Saturday. We went to the State Fair... had a Frozen Banana with chocolate and nuts.. Mexican Food (Naturally, not at the fair)... Went to Target... For the second time... then went to Whole Foods for dinner, bought some bangin cookies... and watched a chick flick. It was wonderful

Sunday, We had waffles (just the frozen to toaster ones, who are we Barefoot Contessa?) then had 1.5 naps before going to meet badass Callie at Moe's (3rd time for Mex or Tex Mex this week...) I then went home, watched Shark Tank... freaking awesome show... then went to get pumpkins with Charlie...This one is waiting to be put outside...

Sweet little punkin...

Then we went on a walk (yes people, I am walking... I hadn't heard it's supposed to help bring about labor.. thanks.) then went to Jersey Mikes where I had a 1/2 of a GIANT sub.. that is the name and the description. AND... Mistake ahead... 2 servings of the nectar of the gods... Diet Mountain Dew. Which only kept me away until 12:45 am. Joy.

Because I don't have any pictures of the love child yet... this angry beast will have to subdue you.

Just Warming up my spot.

Also, If you didn't notice... The Eggplant Parm didn't work, Nor does eating spicy food, Nor does walking... Hanky Panky... Acupressure... or thinking about going into labor REALLY REALLY Hard...

I'm guessing that anything less than planning and paying for a non-refundable trip to an exotic island this weekend would bring her along.

P.S.S... I have already versed the lecture she is going to get once she's out. Hope she comes out ready to apologize.

The day has come...

But she has not.

And I'm at work. You know how much I'm enjoying being with co-workers when I'm this close to due date. I work with a BUNCH of ladies, that... although they are all literate and can read this:

Technically, she isn't late yet.

There has been a pool going at work to see when she's going to come. So mean and cruel people have me going to October 19th and then a little beyond that. Gross. Why would you ever wish that upon someone? Rude.

In preparation for a very long and anti-climatic weekend. Here are the possible plans in zero particular order (other than the actual time of the event).

Cooke Street Carnival - We obviously didn't think we were going to make it this year. We have been to... every one they've had so far. So we might as well go this time. We thought we would be holding a sweet babe by then so, needless to say, we didn't make any plans. This is on Saturday so.. that's when we'll be going. An added plus for Charlie. They have food trucks and beer vendors, which is really want we need now, more food and booze.

North Carolina State Fair - Yes, I understand it is the best and worst of this amazing state. And the thought (and sound) of the State Fair seems kitchy...and there are a lot of rednecks and Nascar Racing game... and other hokey stuff. But. It only comes once a year. I like the frozen bananananas (with chocolate and nuts), and Charlie likes the Barbecue... not that it's hard to find around here. I will say that one year I saw a tractor pull... and as bubba as that sounds... it was really cool. There way a lot of fire coming out of tractor engines. No, I'm really not a redneck. I've never lived on a farm. And there is way more to North Carolina that this.

Note* the "Theme" for this year's fair is Bumper Crop of Fun. What the HooHaa does that mean? Welcome to North Carolina.

What?

Friend's Birthday Party - There isn't really a "link" for this, other than a Facebook invite... which I'm not going to take upon myself to put on here. Well, because it's not my party. But it's on Saturday evening, and there has been serious hinting that s'mores might be involved... so I should probably check it out.

Any other suggestions are welcomed.

There has been one suggestion that I have a Bloody Mary tonight... Which sounds like a great idea. There is one brand of Bloody Mary mix that is AWESOME!! It's called Hot Mary by Freshies. It is amazingly spicy and I have only found that Whole Foods carries it, but it's chock-full of real ingredients that you can see. A zillion times better than ZING ZANG or whatever swill you've been mixing your vodka with. SO good!
I may need to send Charlie to the ABC Store for some Airplane bottles of Vodka (tells you hold often we drink clear liquor at our house... unless you count Moonshine... jk)

We have been eating on the Eggplant Parmesan (it took me 3 times to get that word spelled right) recipe that Charlie made on Wednesday night. It has been awesome.

It is supposed to have some magical (not like a magician) powers that will make you go into labor within 48 hours of eating it. We have had it for almost every meal for the last 1.5 days.

The only possible reason it may not work is because Charlie took some "creative liberties" with the spices...some that included... Cayenne seasoning because he didn't know we had a strategically hidden baggie (that sounds like drugs!) of red pepper flakes in the very tip top/back of the spice cabinet and other things he will admit to me in about a week.

Anyway you sprinkle the 1.5 pounds of mozzarella(?!)... this is a good recipe (Cayenne and all).

I may have just eaten some at 9:30am.

Please Please Please everyone "wish" Mary Margaret out of me soon. It's not that I'm in agony or anything... I'm just really anxious to meet her, and for her to make me feed her like a cow every 3 hours..
And other fun stuff like that.

-----------------------UPDATE-----------------------
This is what I just got on my e-mail....
and it is very upsetting/ depressing