Cry Baby, A new mommy's tale

I would have done a "What I Wore Sunday" but we were ALL really tired and slightly "dehydrated" from last night's festivities... Go Ahead and use those Judgey Eyes... see if I care...

Here is something for you to enjoy

I think I missed a few step in the "normal" range of emotions having this sweet babe.

Honestly, I didn't cry when we first met in the hospital (I did later that day, upon reflection) and of course I've cried many many many times after. Mostly from new mommy frustration. But that immediate "I love you more than I've loved anything else in the whole wide world" thing didn't really happen, Sorry MM.

I've cried over the thought of going back to work, I cried when I gave her the first bottle. But something happened that I didn't expect...

I cried last night when she finally started taking her pacifier. I know, completely lame, weirdo response to something completely normal for ALL other moms. She had only taken out pinky finger and would have a tough time taking a bottle, so when she started taking both easily... I had a reeeeal tough time with it.

The myriad of emotions recently has included: Happy, Sad,  Excited, Anxiety, Gleeful, Anxious, Weepy  Exhausted, Tipsy :), Festive, and finally Caffeinated. 

Charlie pegged the paci breakdown... I felt like I was being replaced by this pink little silicone piece. 

And he was completely right, I didn't know how to put my feelings into words, but he had figured us out. Her relying on me 100% every second of the day may seem WAY overwhelming and (honestly) annoying but I love love love love love it. Being able to soothe someone, and be their end-all be-all for someone is something that I've never really been, and it has given me so much purpose. 

We went to a (few) Christmas parties last night and among the many discussions about babies, pregnancy, and new mommy-hood and someone asked if I would have done the pacifier - bottle thing if I weren't going back to work. And I don't think I would have. I only use the paci when she's going to sleep (where I previously just used the pinky) and I wouldn't mind nursing her all the time, it's way easier than pumping (ouch) and using the bottle (mess and can expire).

I'm happy rocking her to sleep every night. At this moment I feel like I could do it every night for years (I may be drinking the "baby koolaid" right now).  And I know that means I wouldn't be out of her reach for more than 2.5 hours at a time, but for some reason that doesn't seem so bad...

I say all this, to say the second we think Charlie is making enough for us to continue to live our meager lifestyle, I would become a Stay At Home Mom with the QUICKNESS!! 

OK, now back to watching Friday Night Lights, we're on Season 4 and I have 1.5 seasons to finish before I am forced out of the baby dream I'm living in.

Happy Christmas Eve Eve!!

Love, You're Favorite Heathen

7 Quick Onsies

1. Charlie, Mary Margaret, Buckley and I made our way down to the beach for a few days. Mary Margaret was wonderful, of course, and Buckley was his normal sweet but somewhat needy self.

2. Mary Margaret got a A- on the drive down to the beach and a solid B+ on the ride home. There were a few instances where Charlie and I had to blare the My Morning Jacket and Florence and the Machine while singing as loud as possible to drown her out. She submitted to our beautiful voices. 1 Point parents.

3. The day has come.  Either I'm starting to nurse in my sleep or Mary Margaret has started sleeping though the night!! She did it for first time on Sunday night, then woke up 2 times a night at the beach, and the last night she did it AGAIN! I know she will go through phases where she'll wake up a few times a night. But this is fantastic!

4. The big news that I couldn't talk about, I can now talk about!! Charlie got a part-time teaching gig with Saint Thomas More Academy. The goal when he finished studying at Duke was for him to teach at a Classical Catholic high school. We have been preparing ourselves for the possibility of moving for him to get a position like this. But it looks like our prayers have been answered with this. This part-time position will fit into his Duke schedule and, if everything goes well, will lead to a full time position in fall 2013. He will be teaching medieval history (which he doesn't have much experience with)  and would be teaching that along with theology in the fall.  Merry Christmas to us!

5. We enjoyed spending time with our little family unit at the beach. But. We really enjoyed watching the Cable TV. We spent hours watching trash such as Amish Mafia, Say Yes To The Dress "Big Bliss", and numerous cooking shows. Our favorite among the crowd was Good Eats. We both have a serious crush on Alton Brown. SO much so that we're going to follow his eating plan that does the following:

He eats daily: fruits, whole grains, leafy greens, nuts, carrots, and green tea

He eats 3x a week: oily fish, yogurt, broccoli, sweet potato, and avocado

He eats 1x a week: red meat, pasta, dessert, and alcohol

He Avoids: fast food, soda (except for club soda, which is okay), processed meals (such as TV dinners), canned soups (salt), and anything labeled "diet," because "this was not a diet

** Note, I'm having a hard time with the booze part, I can't stop...well, you know what I mean**

6. Along with all of the TV we watched at the beach, we have resumed our LOVE with Friday Night Lights. I'm kicking myself for not watching this fantastic show when it was coming on in "real time" we are ADDICTED. So much so, that I was thinking about what was going on in the show while we were at the beach. Lame, I know. But we're obsessed. 

7. Our house is a WRECK. We have made slight attempts at cleaning, but really can not get the motivation to do anything. I really have no excuse.

On a better note I did go to my 3rd spin class post partum, my tush still hurts because I've been out so long, but I'm excited to be getting back into it!!

Ok, go to Grace for more and better.

Busy Busy Baby

Since I'm not overly fond of my not-shrinking-as-quickly-as-I'd-like physique. I'll show you what Mary Margaret wore for Mass today.

She is seriously presh.

We had some family pictures taken this weekend by the ever talented Meredith Geldmeier. She knows how to work my camera 20x better than I do, so I invite her over to take pictures with it. I hope she never finds out how much I'm using her :)

Here are a few..

I'm lovin MM's face in this one.

Mary Margaret the diva was a pill to work with. 

She was constantly crying... there were OH SO many like this:

Apparently, when MM cries, Charlie shuts his eyes. Hmm, coincidence?

I will mention that the dress she's wearing is WAY too big, it's sized for a 6 month old, but it's so cute, and will  not be seasonly appropriate so I just went with it. I mean who could turn down corduroy baby bloomers?? Someone with a heart of stone maybe... Plus we didn't want it to be OVERLY holiday incase we want to use them for non holiday purposes.

ALSO, I didn't take a shower the morning these were taken and slapped on a few particles of make up (mostly concealer, for obvious reasons) and they still turned out not horrible. 

So, one point for fake it till you make it.

Mary Margaret also went to her first adult Christmas party, where she was the belle of the ball, Natch (naturally...) The party that we went to has been hosted by the same couple for 35 years. That is awesome, and Charlie's parent's have been there for every since year so far. How impressive on both sides?? This was my third party I think, but there will of course be many more to come with that crowd.

We should be at the beach right now, but there have been some exciting developments in the McCants house which made us postpone the departure until Monday. I'll possibly be talking more about it in the coming days, or I won't... and so you'll know something didn't happen. 

Make sense? probably not.

When we do leave for the beach it will be the longest car trip for Mary Margaret so far, hopefully we can avoid completely knocking her our with OTC meds and she'll just sleep like the sweet normal babe we love. Not the cranky screaming one we HATE (just kidding)

OK people. It thunder stormed in Raleigh late last night, more like early morn. That means 10 days until snow, right? That also means a white Christmas. Cross your fingers and baby toes!!

Who am I kidding, I'll be walking around in Rainbows like normal Christmases in NC. 

Boo

7 Quick Takes Friday

1. As a new parent , and human being, I have to comment about the horrible things that have happened today in Connecticut. I was blissfully unaware of this until this afternoon as I was chatting with another new mommy and baby. I didn't do much more article searching until I got home and put my sweet girl to bed. It is unfair and whatever your opinion on gun control, I think everyone can agree this and the similar events that have happened recently are awful and saddening.

2. Mary Margaret and I had a "ladies lunch out" with our sweet Irish friends Kate and Isabelle Molloy. I met Kate (mommy) in my midwive Centering group and we have been hanging out while I've been on maternity leave. We had lunch and a beer at the Busy Bee Cafe. Luckily for Kate and Isabelle they missed Mary Margaret completely losing her sh*t while I was changing her on the hard bathroom floor when she had a front-blowout and needed a complete outfit change. The mix of the hard cement floor and florescent lights (along with being naked) made her freak and I'm sure the whole restaurant thought I was giving her a booster shot or something.

3. Kate and I nursed in the window of a cafe today with all of the passer-byers just staring at us. Score one for the nursing in public crowd!! All of the men in their fancy suits and overcoats and homeless people were just staring me in the eye (up here sir...) and I would just give them a SMILE!! We also did diaper changes in the window too, nothing but modest here in Raleigh.

4. Charlie is off playing poker tonight with his buddies, leaving me with all of the bathing and diaper changing. I know ALL of you other ladies out there do this every night, but I'm lucky enough to have a very hands on daddy that likes to at least talk to me while I'm doing the bathing and diaper changing (for reals: Charlie does change diapers and bathe when I'm not here). Buckley was not enjoying it because 1. We were late with his dinner and 2. There was no one to play with him because I was caring for Mary Margaret. He does love to cuddle when she goes to bed, I think someone misses being an only child.

5. I finally completed my Masters course for this semester. The very sweet professor told me I could take an incomplete for the semester and finish later. But the course wasn't THAT time consuming and I was able to finish on time and with a passing grade (B). It may have been a mercy B (since it was a Child and Maternal Health Class) but a B is a B is a B, to me. Ha Rhyming.

6. I need to get some more nursing bras. Anyone have some suggestions? The one I have been wearing so far is ill fitting and was $5 on the Target Super Big Clearance rack like 6 months ago. And if I'm going back to work. UGH I need to have more than 1 I think, because Lord knows I leak all OVER them, even with those B.S. reusable nursing pads.

7. As I started writing this #7, sweet Buckley put his head on my arm. I really want to go to sleep, but I also don't wanna move his arm because he had a rough night without us. Oh... puppy parent guilt.

Also, this Mary Margaret sleeping more thing is killing the milk jugs... and I don't wanna pump before bed because she'll undoubtedly wake up at 11 pm instead of 2 or 3am and want milk that I just won't have...ugh

OK done. Go wake your babies up and give them a hug, you'll feel better.

Jen has a whole Bunch more of this...

As does Very Preg Grace

Weekend

My sweet sweet mother  came to visit me stopped by to see Mary Margaret on Saturday morning and stayed until Sunday morn. It was a whirlwind of baby holding/loving/hugging and shopping. Ohh and driving through numerous parking decks looking for a spot at the mall. Ugh.

HELLO Belk One Day sale. It was great! We got some super deals. Sorry you missed it.

Both nights of the weekend (is Friday night considered the weekend?) there was an issue with Mary Margaret's sleeping. One was self-administered when I tried to following the Sleep Consultant's suggestion of putting her to bed "Awake and Aware" which consisted of me going up there 5 times because she was screaming bloody murder. I then gave in and soothed and rocked her to sleep. Bam. She Wins

Then on Saturday night she went to bed really easy with my soothehertosleepdon'tmakeasound technique. Then at her 1:30 am and 5:30 am feedings she was struggling and tugging and crying while nursing. It was very confusing and frustrating. I can't figure out why she does it and I hope (pray?) that is is just a phase she'll grow out of. I also have my thoughts it has to do with my let-down which I'm not sure how I change that. I may ask my BFF and baby/parenting go-to Nancy for some advice.

One reason I was having a tough night is because I was laboring over the though of having to go back to work. It's like 4 weeks away, but the thought makes my eyes fill with tears. Thursday, January 3rd is going to be my first day back, and the thought kills me. I really want to stay home with her. The thought of her doing more cute firsts with someone else makes me incredibly jealous, and they haven't even happened yet. Also, the thought of giving up exclusively breast-feeding her, and having someone else be her source of nutrient (understanding, of course that I will be pumping for her).  I selfishly want to have control over her eating, changing, and what she's wearing; (was that the right punctuation there?) trusting someone else to know how to do it for a whole day while I'm in another city for 8-10 hours is terrifying. OK, I may need a second here to collect myself.

Ok back.
We are going to the Christmas "New or Soon-to-be Parent" meet up for the Sacred Heart Cathedral Young Adults Group (confusing enough). I had grand ideas to make this crab dip that I found at 5am while nursing one night... I think we know how well this turned out... I sent Charlie to the store to get the essentials for it. Made in Sunday morning, I will admit there may have been a shake too many of Cheyenne pepper, it was like a creamy-spicy non-crab tasting mess. Charlie was sweet to try and make it seem redeemable, but it was kinda just spicy blah that if you only looked at it, looked like peppermint gross (got the visual?). So I went with plan B, which mom had suggested, a pre-made spinach dip that was made with Greek yogurt (yay!) from Costco put into my own bowl. Yes, I like to cheat like that.

This is how excited Buckley is over the dip

7 Quick Takes Friday

I thought I would be like these other cool people and start doing the 7 Quick Takes Friday

1. Mary Margaret and I are trying to work our way through Friday Night Lights mostly because it's an awesome show and she has a new love for the TV. I'm sure this is something we're going to have to work though in the coming years. I'm telling myself it's just the colors and not the trash that I sometimes watch.

2. The three of us, Mary Margaret, Buckley and I went for our first "those who stay at home" walk on the Greenway. It went surprisingly well, and Mary Margaret only cried for a few minutes total. She mostly liked to look around and be cute.

Exhibit A

3. We have been having Mary Margaret say her "I Love You" to us all week. I'm going to concentrate on "Mommy" next week. It is amazing how she gets a big smile on our face when we start "talking". 

4. I have repeatably been finding spit up under Mary Margaret's endlessly developing neck rolls. They are cute, but if I don't think about it, they may become a science project under her nose.

aforementioned neck, can you imagine how soft these are?

5. MM and I spent the majority of Thursday in Durham, I passed my 6 week midwife appointment (giving me the go-ahead to go back to spin class, YAY!!), we went to visit daddy at school where we celebrated St. Nicholas' Day having prosecco and cheese with in Paul Griffiths' office. We then went to the sweet Clem house to see if the little Clem girls would be willing to treat Mary Margaret as their baby doll twice a week next semester. I think we have a winner!! 

6. Tuesday I had the daunting task of hosting the New Mom's group of Sacred Heart Cathedral over to our house. I also didn't think ahead enough and had no doggy care for Mr. Buckley. Mary Margaret received a B+ for her behavior and a C+ for her eating (refusing both the bottle and the boob, great) but once I started wearing her around she was great and fell asleep on me. It was a great time and the babies all did a great job. 

7. Charlie is on the FINAL stretch of his second to last semester in school. He has been working incredibly hard, and has been struggling with not being around as much as he (or I) would like. But come Monday evening (?) he should be done and we can have him all to ourselves (except for Thesis writing) until the beginning of January. 

Extra: One perk to being at home on Maternity leave, other than the obvious... was to watch Ellen everyday. I was horrified to turn on our semi-free cable to see that NBC has NO audio! I can only lip read to what Ellen is giving away at the 12 days of giveaways and how wonderful Mrs. Timberlake's wedding was! GRR!

"Buddy the Elf, What's your favorite color?"

I guess I should get on the band wagon of 7 Quick Takes like of these ladies which I follow...

Maybe I'll try for this coming Friday

Anyway, I've been meaning to post this really funny Youtube clip. I'll say I'm not usually one for dog shamming, but this is hilarious. Charlie showed me this clip one midnight nursing session. He was obviously getting a lot of work done for school during those late hours.

Another fabulous video is this one of Mary Margaret clearly saying "I love you" she will obviously take after her father's love for language.

In other news Charlie is SO close to being done with his final paper for this semester. Because he's been working so hard on it (and the 2 previous papers) he has gotten out of the numerous night time feedings and shifts, although he will sometimes has the best intentions of taking one for the team and the MM gives him a break and only wakes up once.

This is a very random clip and the girl's name is also Mary Margaret

I'm completely sure that everyone other that Charlie and I HATE this Christmas song, but we really like it.  SO There.

Ok, it took be seriously 4 days to get this post out... I've been really lazy about it.

Something amazing happened

27 years ago yesterday.

My mom was in the final stages of her labor with me. At 11:something pm on November 30, 1985 I was brought into the world. YAY!

Dinner and Drinks sans Baby and Diaper Bag? Yes.

My dad says to this day, that I started smiling right away (ha, that rhymed) and I have gotten compliments on my smile ever since (not to brag).

Since becoming a mom to this exceptional little person a little more than a month ago, I can now understand how a birthday of your child can be exciting and motivational for the parents. I can't wait to celebrate that I have kept this child alive for a whole year. That is an amazing accomplishment and I hope all parents celebrate what they have done!!

To think that almost 30 years ago (what!?!) she was in the hospital, after 3 days of labor.... ugh, pushing me out into the world. Good work Mom (and dad)!! And you kept me fed, and clothed, and safe for this long (they're still doing it, don't let me fool you). I think that although birthdays are about the person who was born, it should also be a little Parent's Day too (a little gift might be nice, jk) because they have put in the hard work for that year!

For my birthday this year, Callie (Aunt Callie, so as you're not confused) took me on a surprise lady date  in Durham the day before which included: Sushi and Martinis, a Storyslam provided by The Monti, then to Fullsteam to drink and watch people play trivia. We only had one run in with an awkward former potential dating partner for Callie (got all that?).

On my actual birthday, sweet Charlie took me on a dinner date that included Christmas Tree shopping. This is a new family tradition, the tree picking on my birthday. It really makes me extra excited for my birthday, mostly because it means the beginning of THE holiday season. That means treats, holiday party, Mariah Carey Christmas Songs, white chocolate & peppermint snacks, and of course a valid excuse to watch ELF.

A tip for moms with Newborns to 3 year olds!!

I have been scouring the intranets to learn as much as I can from Isis Parenting they have webinars that you can watch, and re-watch if needed (I watched the newborn-5 month sleeping one twice so far), but have also watched the baby-wearing, breast feeding positions, and am working on the pumping for work webinar right now. The moderator, Nancy Holtzman is insanely knowledgeable, and if you follow her on twitter (do you twitter?) @nancyholtzman you can ask her questions and she will answer them super quickly via twitter. You can also see other people's questions incase you didn't think about that question. I've already asked her a few questions with great and fast responses.

OK that is my un-paid plug for Isis and my new bff Nancy

Happy Tree Trimming to Me!!