Homemaking for the Rest of Us

I really wish this could be some sort of instruction on how to be a good homemaker and working mom… but it isn’t. What it is, is another (yes, I can’t stop) self-deprecating post on how I keep failing as a homemaker. I wish I could blame this all on being 1000 months pregnant. But I really can’t, and Charlie is SO helpful (seriously all the time “doing me a favor”) that my excuses are getting slim.

I mentioned before how my cooking waxes and wanes throughout the month. With the reality that I would like to make more amazing and healthy things for my family, and I do sometimes.

But it’s really ends up being Charlie and I eating it, with the exception of Buckley who gets the unwanteds from MM.

Yet, another night of "Pizza Somethings" which consist of English Muffins, Spagetti Sauce, some sneaky spinach I could hide, and all the cheese.

We are of the primitive nature, where we still eat our meals on wooden boards.

Please tell me it’s just a phase, a semi-short phase.

I really thought I was going to win her over with some baked Ziti that happened to have chopped spinach mixed in. Nope, no go. After a little fighting and cajoling she ended up having a dinner of yogurt and a tortilla, well rounded.

As for baking, well I can make a mean pancake from Aunt Jemima’s mixes, and only occasionally burn the pre-portioned cookies that I order from the neighborhood girl’s fund-raisers. I did make a Strawberry Cake for my BFF’s (is that done? The term BFF?) Graduation and here is the amazing picture of my decorating skills. Call Cake Boss… as I’m a shoe-in for the next open position.

Good thing it tasted halfway decent… it really needed something to pull it back  from catastrophe.

If you care, it is supposed to read "You Did It!, Peterson FNP"

Then comes laundry, to start I’m decent at getting MM’s things washed because I can usually get some clothes in with the non-poop diaper wash, and she gets her clothes dirtier than mine do so they need washing more often.

With my laundry on the other hand, it’s gets bad… most dark things are covered in dog hair and apparently I have more underwear than anything because I don’t feel the pressure to really do laundry until I’m out.

Which I have stooped so low as to wear Charlie’s boxer-briefs around the house when I’m out (things are getting real). I figured it was a breaking point in our marriage when I start stealing his undies… it was either going to ensure that we only have these two children or we were going to have many many more, based on Charlie’s reaction to said men’s underwear wearing. Jury is still out (too much? Don’t care).

And… for real they are comfortable! Why was I holding out for so long?? I’m not going to get my own (because that would be too far, right??) but stealing his on the occasion, just fine.

I’ll save your eyes from any photographic evidence of this exchange.

Also, I am THE WORST at getting stains out and/or keeping items from bleeding on each other.

I have a perfectly good dress that was originally was white with flowers… took it out of the laundry (with admittedly, some colored items) and BAM, pink dress with flowers… why why why???

Also also, I tossed it a few weeks ago, but I struggled and cussed and pre-treated and oxycleaned and didn’t dry in the dryer the heck out of a shirt for MM that she’d gotten orange (the fruit) on and that stain would not come out regardless of the lengths taken.

Prize winning, no doubt

What else? Ohh gardening. That’s laughable. I have no green phalange on any appendage. I told myself that this spring I was going to get some hanging baskets and keep them watered and alive. Well I do make it out to water them at least every other day. And because we get FULL ON SUN all through the hottest parts of the afternoon, they are mostly dying a slow dry death, regardless of the buckets of water I throw at them. We could have a garden, If I had time and energy for that… but I don’t carve that out in the afternoon. And inside plants never make it either… I believe I should just buy some fake and call it a day, no?

Finally, cleaning. Ahh something I’m also not stellar at. It takes (us, because Charlie does have a hand in this one too) a week at least to clean the dining room table of papers and bags and what-not, and we still eat on it 90% of the time, just pushing all that mess over. In the past I was better about sweeping, but it’s only when Buckley’s hair has gathered and is planning to revolt against us that I start to tackle it. I tried to do some shoe-at-the-door organization, and that is about 75% successful, mostly because other non-shoe things (read: MM toys) keep mysteriously finding their way in there.

This cleaning service we hired is having a really hard time reaching the tops of shelves for dusting.

To be completely honest (and I always am with you.. 5 people who read this) I was CRUSHING IT as a wife/homemaker for about a week. I organized the re-do of the master bathroom (only costs us a few of Charlie’s non-essential internal organs to pay for that) and re configured the guest bed with new linens and a new beadframe. I. felt. AMAZING. But that was incredibly short-lived and now we’re back to this.

And well.. Work is work. So I can’t say that I’ve picked that one over the other.

So If you’d like to make yourself feel about your homemaking, organizing, stain-removing, cooking, gardening, etc etc etc. Please come over and bring us something to eat, but you must guarantee that MM will eat it and Buckley can’t steal it out of her hands before she gets the chance? K?

This is an shot of MM's impromptu musical performance Mother's Day morning, before I choked down some pancakes then crawled back into bed with a stomach bug.