Someone told me a lie once, they said "Babies are supposed to consolidate their night time sleep" and, like a fool, I believed them.
Well I'm going to tell you that instead of "easier as they get older" things are not going like that.
V has now decided that she has arms and legs that she would like to move ON HER OWN (gosh, come on...) and that swaddling is her nemesis.
She used to just fall asleep nursing at 7:30 PM and sleep until 11 or 12 then nurse again and fall back asleep for about 2-3 hours and then... maybe... put up a fight at her 4am feeding, but after some swaying and rocking would succumb to the inevitable. No longer my friends, she will fight and fight and then pretend she's going to sleep, but then NOPE eyes fly right back open as she grunts and fights the swaddle.
Some people say that swaddling will make a baby calm down. Where are these babies, and what are you doping them with to agree to that. Because neither of my babies have EVER gotten calmer with a swaddle. It may prevent them from slapping themselves in the face in the middle of their very short sleep, but calm them it will not.
Now, I do know that eventually things will get easier, I mean, thank the LORD MM doesn't sleep like. But at 4:30AM after you've been nursingrockingswayingsucklingsingingbouncingwalking, etc etc etc for almost an hour and a half things start looking super bleak and you kinda don't like your sweet little baby who can do (almost) nothing for herself.
Yes, I said it, there was a time, or 20, between 12AM and 8:30AM this morning that I didn't really like my baby. Said it, it's out there for the world. Now, do I love her, of course, but I don't always (and won't always) have to like her.
At that point I wake the other person responsible for her (Charlie) and let him take a shift because, as with MM, he has become the go-to for getting a baby to sleep. I whole-heartedly know it is because he is more patient than I am, and it rings true again with getting newborns/infants to sleep.
We have crossed some very useful bridges though, she is tolerating her amazin-a-swing, which she is napping in as I type. Which really has made me feel like a much better mother and woman. I can sit down and have lunch with MM without having to nurse V at the same time or (gasp) clean something with both hands.
Ohh and Happy early Anniversary to my sweet husband. We have been married for 4 years come Thursday. Maybe I'll re-type how we met once I find some free time.