Winning.

It would be fair to start by saying that I'm writing this after work, after a horrendous dentist appointment where the "guest hygienist" really gave me the what's-what since I hadn't been there (or apparently flossed) since January 2013, and after practically chugging a hard cider Charlie bought me in place of the case of PBRs he bought for himself (all of the class here at the McCants house).

If you find that the previous paragraph fully describes the title of this post, no need to continue, you'll just become too impressed.

I should start by saying I'm a gripping 6 weeks away from Ms. McCants' due date, but as much as I KNOW when it should be... they always have and will always know better than yours truly.

I could take that as an excuse that I 100% botched a birthday party invite this weekend. In every way possible, other than the day and the person it was for.

* I should note that once we received said party invite, MM would not stop talking about birthday boy. And saying Happy Birthday to him numerous times while kissing the invitation.

I will begin with the time, first I thought it was 3 PM for the start time. Then, upon closer examination, I was under the impression it started at 1PM, ok so we could have a quick 1.5 hour nap and be a little late for the party. Fine, I'm not above being late (and as you know, it's in MM's general demeanor) and we had everything: cute clothes on, a little make-up for momma, the charity donation noted on the back of the invitation. MM was now clutching the invite as we walked out of the door. As I was checking the address, I saw the unthinkable.

See how obviously this says 1PM as a start time?? 

Also, I am a master a photo edit, obvi.

The party was from 10AM until 1PM. SHOOOOOT... We had missed the party completely. Like seriously, we were late to the post-party (which, I'll have you know, was implied naps for all attendees).

So amid MM beginning her chorus of repeated "Julian" and "Happy Birthday, Julian," I declared we were going to go drop of the donation for the requested charity, and maybe tell Julian's parents that we (I) were unbelievably sorry for missing the party completely.

As we were making our way to downtown I began frantically texting everyone who lived in Julian's vicinity that we could invite ourselves to hangout with. I am also checking the invite to see how such a critical error, I turn it over and BOOM; the donation was for a children's book. What do I have? Clothes and some size-1 diapers that have been in our laundry room (unopened) for 6 months. Fail again.

MM was reallllly digging it into me at this point with her frequent declarations of "Julian" all the way to his house. I hung my head in shame.

Charlie on the other hand was getting quite the kick out of the afternoon's events. He likes to pretend that I have my Sh*t together, and so these little moments of motherly shame really get him a little giddy.

As we are pulling up to the Birthday Boy's house his VERY sweet and VERY pregnant mother texts back and says it's cool if we stop by. Little did she know that we are going to eat the leftovers and drink their beer while their little man was napping and thus allowing them NOT to do their naptime plans, which I'm sure was cleaning or napping or whatever.

We came prepared to party

Our next stop on tour de South Raleigh was our non-childed friends Clair and Seth, as they are hosting AirBNB guest AND having some touch ups on their house painting done. Ohh, you can certainly host us for a little too.  We just barge in, break a few things, drink their refreshments, have a tantrum or 3 and peace.

Finally, we have also invited ourselves to a cook out! YAY! for them. More people feeding us. Ann and Bryan were so gracious to let us trample through their backyard and steal toys from their son while, unbeknownst to them, feeding their dogs at least 1/3 of MM's dinner. And the Rice Krispy Treats were fab. I'm not sure if it's completely obvious, but we brought zero to share with anyone (no bottle of wine, no 6 pack, not even a lame bag of chips). And I hear a rumor this morning that there was talk of how precious MM is. Good thing we have her to pull us out.

I will say there might be a few things to contribute to this absentmindedness, one is that we may be trying to sell our townhome within the few weeks leading up to V's birth... but who doesn't like a little more excitement when you're about to bring another living thing into your world forever? Not me!

More on the house selling later, but for now, if anyone can tell me the name of a good  (read: pro bono) home-staging guru, I will love you for ever and ever. AND! I won't invite my family over to your house on a random Saturday afternoon. Deal??

This T-shirt from Frisco Rod and Gun 

does have Guns and Dogs on the back, I will come clean and tell you.